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[personal profile] betweenthewaves
somewhere only we know
fringe ♥ olivia/john
spoilers for "airs"
she's not letting go- not just yet- but she's learning to breathe again.

In the past months, Olivia Dunham's seen more than she could have dreamed of in a hundred lifetimes, has lost her lover and had her world view rocked more times than she cares to think about.

Still, after all this time and all those "dunks in the tank", she can feel a shred of finality starting to emerge.

It still hurts, and Walter's odd smile shouldn't be reassuring when she gets out of the tub- especially since he's talking about boiling eggs for his lunch the next day using the very same machine.

It somehow becomes reassuring anyway, and Olivia smiles and towels off.
"Thanks, Walter."

He's something like the one slightly offbeat cousin in every family- mostly well intentioned, if a little crazy.
"Oh, think nothing of it! Do be careful operating heavy machinery though, we wouldn't want you to lose anything important- Oh! And that reminds me that you should have Peter drive you back."

"Walter..." she almost whines this and then Peter returns, casing the situation in a second and offering a succinct, "Not a chance."

"Not you too."

"Deal with it, Dunham. Walter, I'll be back in twenty. Astrid-"

She appears from the other room, "I'm on it. Feel better, Olivia."

Her left hand is bare and a phantom weight rests on her finger; if she focuses on the hazy edges of her vision she can see the sparkle of a diamond on a ring that says 'always'. She can feel the connection slipping now, but the ghost ring fades and reappears as she walks to the car.

A part of Olivia Dunham will always love John Scott. She realizes this during the ride home [she really hadn't felt like arguing with both Walter and Peter but she still almost declined in favor of the silence of her own thoughts and an empty cab. Peter promised he'd shut up though, and so far he's been true to his word.]

They don't say much when he drops her off, just a quiet exchange of 'good nights'. Peter almost asks if she's alright, she can see him thinking about it but thankfully, he curbs the urge and waves her off. Olivia remembers to thank him at the last second and gets a nod in response; she knows they're good.

That night Olivia lies in bed and just thinks, remembers every single detail she can about her time with John. Astrid was right about her instincts, the reason thinking of him as a traitor had felt so wrong was because it was wrong. There's no way to prove it, and she's somehow okay with that because at least now she knows.

Somewhere around sunrise she takes the ring out and slides it on knowing beforehand that it will be as perfect a fit as it was in the dreamscape. And so it is.

Early morning sunlight seeps through her windows and glints off the diamond, sending multicolored scatters of light through the room. Just for a second he's here with her- it's simply the morning after she's gotten engaged. For a split second, she wants to just stay in this place in between because only he can reach her here, but like the connection, it fades away too soon and then it's over.

The sun slowly rises higher and the reflected light changes.

Olivia doesn't take the ring off just yet. It is a weight that she treasures, solid and unassuming, and she'll leave it on for a little while, just to make sure she doesn't forget what was and what could've been.

It's done, she realizes. She isn't letting go- not just yet, that'll take time- but she's learning to breathe again.

The morning begins.

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